Postcards from places I've never been.

Category: starting over

Well, I’m not dead, yet.

Well, I’m not dead, yet, but I did get impressively sick and have to get the nasal swab test for the COVID-19 plague. It was less fun than a pony, but more fun than being bit by a pony. I lost a friend in early March to cancer, and another in early April to heart disease. Hoping 2021 is slightly less exciting than 2020.

On the upside, I’ve been at my job two-and-a-half years, and I make the same wage as someone less experienced, who was newly hired. No, really, that’s an upside, because it’s really lit a fire under my unmentionables to get more serious about a career change.

Et voila.

Image showing progress of StraighterLine course Intro to Technology.

I’m going through StraighterLine to get my feet wet, since my brain is full of cold molasses and hasn’t been warmed up to flow new information through in a while. Poor brain. StraighterLine seemed relatively low stakes, while still being useful and providing transferable credit. I was a PC tech from 2000 to 2008, and would like to get back into the industry in one form or another. Ideally, I’ll make this change in about a year or so. Hopefully the world will be merely smoldering by that time, rather than merrily burning.

Next year becomes never.

This week’s FMF writing prompt is: RUSH

I hear it all the time, about how we all need to slow down, stop rushing, stop hurrying, take a break. Sometimes, though, the day needs to be seized. Hard. Carpe testiculum.

A week ago, I found out someone special to me was in hospice, and, dear reader, I lost my damn mind. I doubly lost it when I ran my budget over and over, and just can’t make a visit happen. I have nothing left to sell that I don’t use for work. My budget is so tight that there is no furniture in my living room. No internet in my home. I keep the heat around 60*, and can just, just pay my electric bill.

I am deeply ashamed of my financial situation. I should have rushed that divorce, instead of sticking around for two more years while my ex continued to run up debt on nonsense. I should have rushed out of the relationship the first time he cheated. Some things don’t take deep thought.

Sometimes, we do need to rush. Sometimes, we do need to hurry along leaving a bad relationship, or making an important decision, or taking a class, or visiting a friend. At some point “next year” becomes “never,” because we run out of next years.

I should have rushed into every opportunity to visit friends and family, over the years.

I haven’t given up. I’m putting in for all the side work I can find, and have made sure my boss knows overtime is my friend. Run, don’t walk. Make sure the people special to you know how loved they are.

Image of a four way freeway at night.